


Don’t You Dare Leave Me (You Better Come Back To Me)

by Ziam22



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: (cutting attempts), Army!Zaynpersonthing, DONT READ IF IT'LL TRIGGER YOU, M/M, past self harm, sad!liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-21
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-27 04:26:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/974323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziam22/pseuds/Ziam22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn goes away for 8 months, and Liam’s having trouble letting him go. Will he be able to handle all the stress?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don’t You Dare Leave Me (You Better Come Back To Me)

Liam currently stood on the cement floor, his head and ruffled dark curls nuzzled in Zayn’s neck, while the older boy had his arms wrapped around Liam’s slender body, a nasty shade of green duffle bag next to his feet.

“Don’t go..” Liam whined for the fourth time.

“I have to, babe. It’s only for 8 months.” Zayn chided again, kissing the top of the brunettes head.

“Don’t leave me..” Liam sniffled.

“I’m not.” Zayn rubbed his back lovingly.

The sound of a honk disturbed them, the sound Liam didn’t want to hear, not yet, not ever.

“No!” Liam wailed.

“Shh, shh, love, it’s ok.” Zayn soothed.

“No! No! Don’t leave me!” Liam cried, using both of his hands to clutch onto Zayn’s shirt.

Zayn sighed knowingly, hugging Liam into his chest. It was time, he knew, to say goodbye.

Zayn was going to war, to fight. Something he promised his father he would do it right before he passed away. He had to, even if it meant leaving his love. Though Liam just seemed not to be willing to let go.

“Liam..” Zayn said watching as the other people awaiting said goodbye to their girlfriends, wives, and children before hopping onto the bus with the others.

“No.. Please don’t..” Liam sobbed into his shirt.

“Look at me, babe.” Zayn commanded.

Liam looked up, his face tear stained and more sinking gently down his chubby cheeks.

“I gotta go now. Please stop crying.” Zayn hushed.

“Don’t leave me Zayn.” Liam begged.

“Never. It’s just 8 months.”

“What if in those 8 months something.. Happens! I can’t risk that Zayn! I-I can’t!”

“Li…”

“Promise me Zayn. Promise me you’ll come back. To me. I’ll let you leave, j-just promise me that.” Liam pleaded.

“I-Li.. You know I can’t promise that. I can’t tell the future.”

“This is a bad idea. I know you promised your father an-”

“It was his dying wish Liam. I need to do this. Even if you lose me Li.. I have to. Nothing can stop me. I love you though, I love your forever. I belong to you.”

“And I-I’m yours.” Liam whispered, the tears coming to an end but left his cheeks pink.

“Yes babe, I have to go. Wait here in 8 months, alright? And if I don’t.. Come out, you move on ok?” Liam sobbed on his words, “Liam. Don’t do anything, you just move on. Promise you won’t do anything Liam. Promise me.” Zayn glared down at his boyfriend.

“I’ll promise only if you promise you’ll come back.” Liam challenged.

“Liam,” Zayn sighed before turning to the bus where the bus driver had a weak smile on his face through the open wide door, “I’m sorry. We’ll just be another minute.” He excused.

“Oh no, take your time. I come an hour earlier for everyone to say goodbye. Go on, I can wait.” He smiled.

Zayn nodded a kind smile and turned back to his boyfriend who has seemed to start crying again, “Liam.”

“What if you don’t come back!? I cant just move on like that!,” He yelled before gulping, “I don’t want to live on this earth without you..”

“Liam don’t. If I-You know I’ll try my best to you know.. But if something happens. Just Liam, promise me before I go.”

“I cant.. Zayn I ca-”

“You can Liam. And you will.” Zayn said sternly.

“I promise.” Liam whispered.

Zayn sighed relieved, and landed a big lip to lip smack. The kiss was blissful. Liam wrapping his arms immediately around Zayn’s neck and Zayn gripping his waist gently. They were letting out there emotions, the sorrow and the longing. They won’t be able to kiss again for another 8 months that is if Zayn makes it back. Their tongues molding together in a soft tango, their lower areas grinding on each other creating small tents.

“I’m going to miss you..” Liam said pulling away.

“You know I’ll write. Cant every night, but once in a while I will.” Zayn told.

“Ok.. I can do this.. It’s only 8 months.” Liam concluded.

“I’ve been telling you that. I have to go. I love you.” Zayn spoke tenderly, timidly watching Liam’s reaction.

Liam whimpered quietly, “I love y-you.. You too..”

“It’s ok. Shh, shh.” Zayn smoothened, “Goodbye babe. I’ll be thinking about you every day.”

“And I’ll be counting the days till you come back.”

“I love you.” Zayn repeated.

“I love you too.” Liam said taking Zayn’s hand when he began to move away, “N-No. I’m not ready.”

“Liam, I have to go. I love you, babe.” Zayn said pressing a kiss to Liam’s lips, then pulling away forcefully and grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder, “I love you.” He said again walking up the bus stairs, thanking the driver for his patience and looking back to Liam.

“I love you too.” Liam said holding in his tears.

“I love you.” Zayn said once again as the doors closed, and Zayn walked to take a seat.

“I love…. I love you too..” Liam whispered as he watched the bus drive away.

And there he goes.

His knees gave up and he landed on both of them weeping into his hands.

“It’ll be ok.” One of the women there patted him on the back.

“It’s ok sweetie, he’ll be back.” Another said with tears falling from her face.

“Hi.” A small voice said.

Liam looked up to a little girl, wiping his tears away before croaking out a puny “Hello.”

“My daddy goes to war every year. He always comes back. Who is he? Your brother?” She asked.

“He’s my boyfriend.” Liam admitted.

“Love is love. He’s going to come back. I promise.”

“What’s your name?” Liam asked.

“Rebecca.” She said before galloping away with her mother.

*

The first month wasn’t too bad. His best friend Louis dropped by every morning with donuts and coffee before having to leave to work and then came back with his boyfriend Harry in the afternoons to make Liam less lonely.

The only problem was waking up in the morning with no arms wrapped around his torso, or morning kisses, or warm mouths, or lazy cuddles, or tickle fights. Nothing.

He missed Zayn with all his heart. He wanted him home. He needed him.

He needed him. Emphasize needed. He did. Why? Because Zayn and Liam became ZaynandLiam during high school, senior year. When Liam was a freak and a nobody who was troubled and Zayn was new to the school and already popular with girls literally kissing his feet.

When Zayn let out he was gay, Liam never expected Zayn to come to him during lunch and ask him out on a date. Liam was all blushes and stuttering, Zayn cut him off with compliments and caressing his cheeks.

After a few weeks of dating, Zayn came to his house for a sleep over. Not the pillow fights and tea parties. He was just spending the night with Liam. Zayn was yawning by 9:30 and hopped into bed. Liam had chuckled and stripped his long sleeved shirt off to switch to a pajama shirt, long sleeved of course. Zayn quickly saw a red gash on Liam’s wrist and jumped out grabbing his arm. Zayn shouted at him, things like Liam was important and shouldn’t do this to himself because Zayn cared. That was the first time they said I love you to each other, and Zayn had Liam promise he would never cut again.

The next couple months were spent throwing razors out and Zayn telling Liam when he needed to shave Zayn would do it for him and then take away the razor. Anything from preventing Liam to cut again. It was also spent with more I love you’s and kisses.

During college, different colleges, Liam and Zayn would skype over their laptops and text each other every chance they could. That’s when Liam met Louis. He was his roommate but Louis spent his nights elsewhere. Until he barged into their room in tears.

Liam asked what was wrong and Louis waved him off saying he had a fight with his boyfriend. Liam asked if that was where he went every night and Louis nodded pathetically, apologizing for leaving Liam alone every night. Liam just smiled and rubbing Louis’s back comfortably and played with his hair until he fell asleep peacefully.

They became inseparable after that, whenever Louis and Harry hung out he always invited Liam. Harry was a head full of curls and large dimples on his cheeks, it matched perfectly with Louis’s bubbly personality and crystal blue eyes. They were perfect for each other, just like Zayn and Liam were.

Vacation time was the best, well only because Zayn drove all the way to Liam’s college to see him. Their greetings were full of harsh kisses and kitten licks and bites on necks and growling’s of ‘Your mine’ and ‘I missed you so much’. Zayn met Louis for the first time too, walking in on Zayn and Liam making out on Liam’s bed with clear sight of erections and sweat. All flustered and flushed Liam kindly introduced the two. Later, Liam and Zayn joined Louis and Harry for lunch. The four hit it off quickly. Zayn had to leave by the end of the week, but that was ok because they would see each other again soon enough.

*

The second month wasn’t so bad either, Louis and Harry continued coming over, bringing chocolate and movies to watch. Though they cuddled on the couch and left Liam to huddle up on the other side by himself, groaning with jealousy and longing.

Then the day came when Liam went to check the mail for the bills and payment he owes, a small white envelope dropped out. It had dirt marks in the corners and scrawny scribbles of black pen on one side.

“Lou!” He yelled rushing back into the house with the envelope clutched to his chest.

“What?” Louis asked from Harry’s lap.

“It’s from Zayn.” Liam said sitting down on the couch as Louis and Harry moved around him.

“What’s it say?” Louis asked.

Liam opened it, reading “Dear Li, Hi babe. I miss you. It’s been a month since I’ve seen you. God, I miss your smile and how your eyes crinkle at the edge when you do so. I can’t write much but I’m doing well. I kind of got shot in the arm by the other guys but I’m ok, I swear. I miss you, again. I miss you so much, I want to see you. I can’t wait. Only 6 more months baby. I love you. –Zayn xx”

Liam hugged the letter to his chest. 6 more months.

*

The third month was a complete disaster. After the letter, Liam started crying himself to sleep, thinking ‘what if hes getting hurt right now?’, ‘what if hes dying right now?’, ‘what if hes losing his legs right now?’

When Louis came in the mornings he would hug Liam until he stopped crying, just like Liam did for him.

*

By month four, it got worse. Liam felt like Zayn had left him. Like he had dumped him. He knew there were razors in the bathroom now. Since Liam and Zayn moved in together, and Zayn trusted him of course. But there were tempting him.

Every night he would sit against the headboard of his head, trying to block out the ‘Use me, use me, use me’ callings from the razors in the bathroom.

He didn’t though, he promised Zayn.

Well if he didn’t come back. But he still didn’t. He couldn’t.

*

The fifth month was getting ok. Liam smiled more often because of Louis’s quirky jokes and Harry’s spontaneous comments to add. It was joyful and Liam didn’t feel so alone anymore. Harry and Louis sometimes slept over, almost every day, in the guest bedroom.

*

It went back to tragedy in the sixth month. Liam badly wanted to grab the razors and end all his stress. He wishes he could just drink like a normal person but he had a kidney problem. He tried smoking once, smuggled Zayn’s cigarettes, but ended up throwing up after the first puff. Then he couldn’t really think of another way then to cut.

“Just one,” He told himself flipping the metal razor around in his hand, “Only one.”

He decided to put the razor down, and thought about Rebecca. The little girl with brown curly locks that were frizzled and the cheesy smile she gave him before walking off the day of Zayn’s departure.

He couldn’t, not yet.

*

The seventh month he didn’t receive another letter. It scared Liam to death. Death, such a funny simple word that could make Liam crash down in a jiffy. Why hadn’t Zayn written to him? At night, he could have a candle or something and write a quick little ‘Im ok’ just to notify Liam. That’s all he needed, to make sure Zayn was fine and not dead somewhere.

*

Finally. It was the day before Liam had to go back to that bus stop.

Louis was with him, they were sitting on the couch watching TV.

“Do you think he’ll look different?” Louis asked.

“I don’t know.. Maybe.” Liam shrugged.

“You’ll still love him, right?”

“Of course.”

*

And then the day came. Liam was standing on the end of the block from the bus stop, he could see the same familiar faces of women and little children from 8 months ago. He wished Louis could have been with him, but sadly he had to work along with Harry.

He took in a sharp breath and walked a few steps before stopping at the honk. The same honk from 8 months ago. The same honk from the bus that may or may not contain Zayn.

He froze their and watched in silence as certain men walked out. Zayn didn’t. His Zayn wasn’t there.

Liam could feel the tears pricking his eyes. No. No. This can’t happen. No.

Suddenly he heard the creaks of the steps from the bus, he closed his eyes and opened them to see Zayn waving goodbye at the driver.

His Zayn. He’s alive. Different looking, he was right. His hair was shorty, spicks in it at different angles. Much darker from being in the sun too much. He had a scar on his cheek and scratches on his arms. But Liam could still recognize him.

Zayn turned to him, raising an eyebrow as if to say ‘Why are you so far away’ and dropped his duffle bag to hold out both his hands.

Liam chocked on his tears and ran as fast as he could in Zayn’s direction, hitting with an ‘oof’ to Zayn’s chest. There Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s back, squeezing him closer.

“You bastard. How could you leave me!” Liam cried.

“I’m sorry. I missed you.” Zayn said, kissing the top of his head.

“I missed you too. I love you. Don’t leave me every again you ass.”

“I won’t, never again. Promise, babe.” Zayn chuckled.

“Hi.” The tiny voice Liam knew spoke.

Liam moved his head out of Zayn’s chest to see Rebecca, her hair in a tight ponytail giving off her cheesy grin again.

“Becca..” Liam said eloping her in a hug, “Thank you for giving me hope.”

Zayn didn’t know what was happening or who that little girl was but he too hugged her, her tiny little arms wrapping around both of them the best they could.

“You’re welcome.” She said in joy, swaying away to her home, holding her dad’s hand.

“Zayn,” Liam started, “Let’s go home.”

Zayn nodded, picking up his bag and throwing it over his shoulder once again while picking Liam up bridal style and rushing home.

*

“Zayn!” Liam groaned from where he was.

On the bed, Zayn straddling his hips and giving him little nibbles on his neck.

“Liam, god I missed you.” Zayn snickered, putting his hands underneath Liam’s shirt.

“I need you, Zayn, 8 months without this, you.” Liam whined.

“Yeah, yeah same.” Zayn said sitting up and throwing his shirt over his head.

Liam quickly did the same, stripping off his own shirt.

“You didn’t..” Liam gestured to his wrist, grabbing them and inspecting.

“No. The little girl, Rebecca. The day you left she told me you would be back, she promised me you would. I wanted to, real bad, but her words just.. I don’t know.”

Zayn nodded slowly, understanding. He pressed his lips to Liam’s left wrist, fluttering his eyes closed, then bringing his right wrist and kissing it softly as well.

“I love you.” Zayn reminded.

“I love you too Z. But uh I have a small problem in my pants that kind of need taking care of.” Liam giggled.

“I love youuuuu.” Zayn sing songed, “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t care, just do something please.” Liam pouted.

“You need to be specific.” Zayn teased.

“Touch me Zayn, come on. I haven’t felt your touch in 8 months.”

"Beg for me." Zayn chuckled.

"Zayn!" Liam yelled.

"Ok, ok. I was kidding, it was a joke.."

“Zayn! J-Just please. I missed you, please.” Liam pleaded.

“Sorry babe. Yeah.” Zayn began to lower down Liam’s pants, having his erection pop out from his boxers, “That hard to see me?” He chuckled.

“Zayn please. No teasing, not today.” Liam alleged.

“Sorry. Yeah, I’ll just ok.” Zayn said pulling off his own boxers, “What do you want baby?”

“I want you to f-fuck me. Now. Skip fing-fingers and con-ndom. J-Just please Z.”

“Course babe.” Zayn smiled, ruffling his hair before moving off Liam, and putting Liam’s legs on his shoulder so it gave him full access to his hole.

“Go in please.”

“Patient.” Zayn said pushing into Liam, slowly of course.

He missed sex of course but he didn’t want to be rough on Liam. He wanted to make sure Liam was still in perfect care.

“Oh, oh, oooo, Zayn.”

“You’re so tight oh my god.” Zayn groaned.

“It’s been 8 months.” Liam reminded, shutting his eyes.

“Could’ve fingered yourself.”

“OOOooo god j-just kiss me.” Liam demanded.

Zayn nodded and leaned down, hovering his body over Liam, and smashing their lips together. Zayn was impatient himself though, he pried Liam’s mouth open with his tongue and tapped Liam’s tongue. Liam complied by swarming his tongue into Zayn’s mouth. Liam let out a moan when Zayn enclosed his mouth around Liam’s tongue, sucking harshly. Zayn began to thrust in and out, keeping the moans of Liam turn into stifles.

“Zayn,” Liam said breaking his tongue from Zayn’s mouth, “Touch me. I-I need to come, love. Please.” He begged.

Zayn understood, gripping Liam’s cock in his hand and pumping while continue to thrust into Liam.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, Z, ohhh, Zzzzzz.”

“Moan my name Li.”

“Zaaaynn, Zayn, Zaaaaayyyyyn.” Liam moaned.

Zayn shot into Liam, and Liam felt the smooth cum squirm inside him and move throughout. He, Liam, also ejected into the air, landing smoothly all over Zayn’s dark hand.

“I love you.” Zayn chirped, leaning in for a quick peak before falling down next to Liam.

Liam smiled and put his head against Zayn’s chest, wrapping his arm around his upper torso and Zayn draped his arm around Liam’s shoulder.

“I love you too.” Liam said as Zayn cuddled closer to him.

He really did miss all this. And those razors that used to call for him, he didn’t need those. They werent calling his name anymore. He had Zayn. His knight in shining armor. The saying ‘Dont you dare leave me’ didn’t matter anymore. Zayn was there, with him, very well alive.

And that’s all that matters.


End file.
